War

" AR. What is it good For?
Absolutely Nothing,
Say it again
WAR. What is it good For?
Well actually its good for morale,
keeping down the population
and really quite a lot of other interesting things."

With apologies to FGTH.

The sound of fighting could be heard from outside the door, the killing fields they called it, cell G.4.2 priory prison.

It was unfair really to class Priory Prison as an old fashioned place as in some respects it really was quite modern. The Defectory had microwaves (what a way to die), the corridors had electric lighting, and the inmates had Nuclear technology. Whether they had anything to launch it with was always a problem. Saturn Vs were always hard to come by, and Atlas and Polaris missiles were getting thin on the ground. Shortage of uncontaminated playing areas were also causing a problem. However, nothing deterred the players. The games went on.

The players varied from game to game, but a typical line up might include

Flavious DOMinion (alias Flavy Baby)
CD
Dr Hugh (or Count Hugo or maybe both playing the same position)
Vlad (Me)
Palemere (or Vamp but never both together)
Batman
The Red Baron.

Originally Wars were held whenever the players felt like it, but unfortunately, CD's cell got rather contaminated one night so proceedings were moved to Flavy Baby's room. Although the rooms were nominally about 15' by 20' we managed to fit a couple of hundred megatons of nukes, two Saturn Vs, and a multitude of smaller missiles and bombers in with no trouble. The problems arose when trying to fit an assembled Saturn V through the door and down a 10' by 10' corridor. The problem as always was easily solved. CD's cell was 9 floors directly above Flavious'. And what's nine floors to a small nuke? However enough of this nonsense. The game goes as follows.

Rule 1. Smile at the guy/gal you're about to nuke.

Rule 2. Be the last to nuke, but when you do nuke the hardest.

Rule 3. Always aim for their stockpiles.

Rule 4. If they have a lot of population, nuke it down a bit.

Rule 5. If they don't have a lot a population let someone else nuke them out. They will take the retaliation, instead of you.

Rule 6. After having read the above rules, ignore them most of the time and "Nuke 'em till they glow".

Rule 7. Always remember to nuke the Red Baron, because he's a slimy guy and doesn't deserve to win anyway.